Small Weddings: How to make them fabulous
Without a doubt, small weddings were the biggest wedding trend of 2020! And we now know that couples who choose to go ahead with their wedding before 21st June 2021 will be required to embrace a smaller celebration. This could even be a trend we see continuing for some time to come, with many couples being prompted during lockdown to reassess their finances and re-evaluate what their wedding day really means to them.
If you are one of the many couples having to scale down your guest list due to COVID-19, we hope you will be able to see this as an opportunity to make your not-so-big day extra fabulous! Here are a few top tips.
Analyse your guest list
On 22nd February the Prime Minister outlined his roadmap plans for England, which will allow very small wedding ceremonies to resume on 8th March. A stepped approach will then be taken, as follows:
- 8th March – Up to 6 attendees (ceremony only)
- 12th April – Up to 15 attendees (including receptions)
- 17th May – Up to 30 attendees
- 21st June – All restrictions lifted.
However, these dates are all subject to change depending on various factors, and the Government has been clear it will be led by data, not dates. So couples could find themselves having to scale down their guest list at the last minute.
Cutting down your guest list to meet the COVID-19 regulations is not likely to be an easy task, especially if you had originally planned a big wedding. It’s also important to remember that any maximum number rules need to also include the two of you and any wedding suppliers present, such as your celebrant and photographer. So how do you even begin to decide who makes the cut?
First of all, forget about family politics. Forget about offending people. If those who don’t make the list are are less than understanding in the circumstances you’re in, perhaps they were not the best people to have with you on your wedding day. People should understand, and hopefully later down the line you will be able to celebrate your commitment with everyone on your original guest list.
Secondly, think about the vulnerable people on your guest list. If someone in your family or friendship group is over 70 or has an underlying health condition, it may be best for them not to attend. And they may actually welcome that decision being taken out of their hands.
Thirdly, ditch the plus-ones wherever you can. So often guest lists are filled with people we hardly know just so that our closest friends and family can bring their other half. But under these circumstances, people will hopefully understand that this is not always possible.
Try to picture your wedding day in your mind’s eye. Imagine those key moments – walking down the aisle, reciting your vows, making your speeches and sharing your first dance. Who are the people you want to be watching you and supporting you in those precious moments? Who could you simply not imagine your wedding day without? That should help you to make your decision.
Make it personal
We feel a personal ceremony makes any type of wedding extra special. But for a small, intimate wedding, it seems all the more important. The focus of the day needs to be on you – your love, your shared experiences, your future together, and everything that shapes you as a couple. A beautifully crafted ceremony will place focus exactly where it needs to be, for the whole point of the day is the commitment you are making to one another. And creating an inclusive feel right from the start will help to bind everyone together in a spirit of celebration, letting your selected guests know that they were invited because they are the most important people in your lives.
We can think of no better way to achieve this than hiring a celebrant to conduct your ceremony. Celebrants cannot always fulfil the legal aspect of your marriage or civil partnership (see Guide to Celebrants), so that may need to be done separately, but they can create a truly fitting and personal ceremony that’s all about you. With a celebrant there are no restrictions on time, place or content. You can include anything you like, write your own vows, and your venue does not even need to be licensed.
When it comes to your legal marriage or civil partnership, most registration services currently have a backlog of dates, having been unable to conduct weddings for so long. So if you don’t have a date set already, get in touch and try to book in a time as close to your wedding day as you can. If you can’t get a date to complete the legals before your wedding day then you still have the option to go ahead with a celebrant-led ‘commitment ceremony’, without having to sacrifice any of your plans.
Relax in the open air
The great outdoors is definitely the safest place to be at the moment. So stay outside as much as you can and try to create a relaxed home-from-home vibe. If the weather doesn’t play ball, consider an open-sided marquee to create shelter while maintaining that open-air feel.
You can even create a festival feeling with food and drink vans, campfires and hay bales set up in a circle to allow your guests to socialise with everyone from a safe distance.
Embrace the distance!
It seems inevitable that social distancing rules will need to be observed at weddings for quite some time. These should follow the Government guidelines, which at the time of writing state that we should remain 2 metres apart from those not in our household (or 1 metre if this is not possible and other contingencies are in place). This may seem like a depressing prospect for your wedding day, but instead of focusing on the negatives, why not embrace the distance and try to make it fun?!
Here are just a few ideas:
- Ask every individual or household pod to bring along their favourite quote about love, an extract from a poem, or simply a wish or blessing for your marriage. They could then stand to read these out during your ceremony, creating a real feeling of unity despite being seated apart.
- After your ceremony, ask your guests to form a circle for your confetti throw, each standing 2 metres apart. You can then make your way into the middle of the circle and enjoy being the centre of attention!
- Set up or plan a few outdoor games to enjoy with your guests. This can be anything that you can play within a safe distance and where there is no need to share equipment. Football, footgolf, foot skittles (anything not involving hands!), charades, a quiz or a dance-off are just a few ideas!
Set a second date
If your original guest list was large and cutting down your numbers was particularly difficult, why not set a date for a second celebration? Planning this a few months or even a year ahead will give everyone a chance to put this new date in their diaries and hopefully you can one day have the big party you had hoped for.
Financially this could be a bit of a stretch, so think about scaling down your second celebration in terms of venue and catering. Perhaps it could take place in a pub garden, or even a mass picnic in the park next summer. Perhaps you’d like to get dressed up in your wedding outfits all over again! You could bring along the photos or videos from the wedding day to share with everyone. You could even replay the music you danced to in the evening and share your first dance a second time.
The most important thing is the people, so wherever you go make it fun, make it personal, and see it as an opportunity to celebrate your wedding all over again!
Check the rules
It is also important to note that regulations for weddings and events differ across England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland, and they are changing all the time. So before you put any plans firmly in place speak to your chosen venue and suppliers about what you can and can’t do and the numbers permitted. Please also investigate how safety-conscious your chosen venues and suppliers are, and never do anything you do not feel comfortable with. The safety of you and your guests is paramount at this time.
Having said all that, we hope that you have a wonderful wedding day and embrace all the positive things that small weddings have to offer!
Love the idea of an outdoor wedding ceremony? Visit the Outdoor Ceremonies Directory to begin planning your perfect day!
